Our Time in the NICU

I want to start this segment by saying two things. First, like any other situation God's ways are always higher than ours and you can always find something good in a situation that seems mostly bad, heart breaking and even overwhelming. Secondly, I know there are so many people who have experienced much worse with the NICU than Justin and I had to endure. So as I explain what we went through please understand that I realize our time was very short and not life threatening. That being said, it doesn't minimize the pain that I felt.

As I mentioned in my last post, about 8 hours after the boys were born it was decided that they needed a little extra attention and were sent to the NICU at UT hospital. It absolutely broke my heart into a million pieces. This was something that I for the last seven and a half months had prayed against. However, like I said before, God's ways are higher than mine and I knew that He was still in control. Jacob's pulse ox rates kept dropping and he was going to require some oxygen. Jackson's only issue was that he was having trouble getting to the body temperature that they like to be maintained. It was only 1-2 degrees below normal. We made the decision that it would be best to keep them together and to go ahead and send them both in case anything were to happen. Turkey Creek Medical Center was not equipped to handle any emergency situations for them. Around 2am on Friday they wheeled both of my boys into my room in these large contraptions that they would be transported in to UT. It makes me want to cry even now just remembering the pain I felt as they came in the room and I had to say goodbye. My heart was just shattered. We prayed for them and watched them leave.

Jacob was put on oxygen but by noon on Friday it was removed. He did have some trouble eating so they inserted a feeding tube down his nose. Jackson was just monitored for his temperature and was mostly fine. Friday morning Justin went to check on them. I stayed at the hospital because I hadn't been released yet to go visit them. Friday afternoon I was able to go see them. It was so hard to walk in to that big room with so many incubators and teeny tiny babies but so joyful at the same time to be able to see my babies and feel like a normal person (since all the crazy medicine had worn off).

Jackson

Jacob

Jackson

Jackson on the left, Jacob on the right

Jacob

Jackson

Sunday morning Justin and I got up and went to church. It was just what I needed. I hadn't been to church in several weeks since I had been on bed rest and missed it so much. It was so wonderful just to be in God's presence and to be surrounded by such wonderful friends and their support. After church we went home and had a yummy Mexican lunch provided by Bro. Josh and then we went to the hospital to spend some time with the boys. When we got there they had moved the boys into their own private room. Grammy and Aunt Amy came to see them while we were there too. Grammy had Easter baskets for the boys. It was Easter Sunday so while Justin and I were there alone with the boys we talked to them about Easter. We told them that Grammy was bringing them Easter baskets but wanted them to know that Easter was not about Easter baskets, toys and candy. Jesus had died on a cross for our sins and then rose from dead. What a wonderful thing to be able to hold our children and tell them about Jesus and what He has done for us. I know they didn't understand but it is never too early to surround them with the Word and pray over them. What a blessing that was to me to be able to do that. Here are some pictures from our day on Sunday.

Their private room. That is Jacob's bed and Jackson's was on the other side of the room.

Daddy getting ready to change Jackson's diaper for the first time. I let him have the first one because I was honestly a little nervous. They were so tiny and fragile. I got over that super quick!

Daddy changing Jackson

Jackson so fresh and so clean!

Mommy feeding Jackson

Mommy cuddling with Jacob

Daddy feeding Jackson

Daddy cuddling with Jackson

Night Night time for Jackson

Mommy and Jackson cuddling

Grammy and Jackson

Aunt Amy and Jacob

Jackson with his Easter basket from Grammy

Jacob with his Easter basket from Grammy



On Monday Tonya came and picked me up to take me to the hospital because Justin had to work. We decided it would be best if he waited and use his time off when the boys were actually home. On our way there Justin called and said they had removed Jacob's feeding tube. (Even though he was working he couldn't stay away from the boys for too long). I was so happy. That was a huge deal and one of the things that was keeping us there. They were very strictly watching what the boys were eating, how much and how long it took them to eat. The problems that they were taken to the NICU for were no longer an issue. It was just a matter of making sure they were eating well. The feeding tube being removed was major progress.

Tonya and Jackson

Daddy feeding Jacob

Jacob

Tonya and Jackson

Mommy and Jacob with no feeding tube!

Jacob

Jacob getting his hearing test

Daddy and Jacob

Daddy and Jackson

Daddy and Jackson

Jacob

Jacob




Monday we saw a doctor that said we were looking at about 24-48 hours until going home if the boys continued on the positive track they were on. So we were anxious to see a doctor on Tuesday to see where we were. On Tuesday we saw a different doctor. He came in and asked if we had a plan yet. I said we didn't but that I would love to have one. He said that he would review their charts and come back with a plan. He left for quite some time and then came back and said we would be able to "room in" (we had to spend the night at the hospital and care for the boys through the night for them to see how we handled it. That was the craziest thing I had ever heard of. If they wouldn't have had to go to the NICU we would have left the hospital and brought them home like any other person who has a baby!) on Wednesday night and then bring them home Thursday. We were SO EXCITED! Until about 30 minutes later when he came back in the room and said he hadn't looked at everything and saw that Jacob had some heart rate dips and he needed to be watched for three or four more days. I was absolutely devastated and furious all at the same time. How dare you come in here without looking at everything and tell me that I get to take my children home and then take it back?! That was so hard to go through. It was such a roller coaster...but only the beginning.

Wednesday Grammy and Poppy came to see the boys. We saw yet a different doctor on Wednesday. He came in and started talking like the boys were ready to leave. I said well the doctor yesterday told us we could go home but then changed his mind because he said Jacob was having heart rate dips. He said he would look at the chart and let us know. He left for a while and then came back and said that none of the heart rate dips were significant events and they were all self-reversed...meaning Jacob did not have to be stimulated to bring back the heart rate to a normal level. They were always very fast down and back up. He said I think we should schedule to room in Thursday night and go home Friday. Again we were so excited but were cautious with our excitement.

Poppy and Jackson

Thursday came and we planned to room in. Still hesitant to get too excited and sure enough the roller coaster took off again. We saw yet another doctor on Thursday. He came in and said that we could room in but he wasn't sure if Jacob would be ready to come home. He said that he wasn't eating as well as Jackson. Well that was just about all I could take. I had been there every day and was watching how much the boys were eating and got a report from the night shift nurses every day as well. I didn't say anything to the doctor because I wanted to check with the nurse first. When she came back in the room I told her what the doctor had said and she said I have no idea what he is talking about. She said Jacob had been taking his minimum every single time and often times was exceeding it and exceeding what Jackson was taking. I said that is what I thought!!! She told us not to worry about it and that he probably wouldn't be the doctor to release us the next day. Then the wonderful doctor (sarcasm) who started the whole roller coaster on Tuesday came by Thursday evening before we started our "room in" and told us yet again that Jacob may not be ready. Well I just let him have it. I told him how ridiculous it had been for us to see a different doctor every day and receive a different report from each doctor. I told him it was a heart breaking roller coaster. I also brought up the fact that the one doctor didn't think the heart rate issues were significant and that the other doctor who had issues with his eating could not be supported with facts. I said I realize you are the professional and if my son truly needs to be treated then I want him to be but I am the Mom and I want him home with me. He said that the strength of their practice was having multiple doctors to draw experience from. Well I am sorry but you need to come to parents on a united front. It was just ridiculous. Justin and I were so torn because we aren't medical professionals and didn't know if Jacob truly needed medical care or if we could fight to bring him home. The thing of it was that they had received zero "medical" care since Monday when Jacob's feeding tube was removed. They monitored them but never did anything for them other than feed them and change their diapers...and they didn't even do that very well because both of my children ended up with raw bottoms!

Thankfully we ended up "rooming in" Thursday night and were released to go home on Friday. The doctor that came in Friday morning was yet again a different doctor. He came in, listen to the boys for a second and asked if we were ready to go home. We said yes and he said ok the nurses will get the paperwork together. Literally was there for less than two minutes and had nothing medical to say to us. Thankful that it was all over but the whole thing was so very frustrating!

That was an extremely difficult process to go through. However, we do have two very healthy boys and it could have been very different. Also, after being home we have discovered that these boys will sleep through absolutely anything. It was so loud in the NICU so I think they will sleep through anything because of that. Also, they were put on a very strict schedule which has been very helpful since being home as well. We would have been fine without that help from the NICU but I try to look at the bright side of everything. I wish things could be different there at the UT NICU just for the sake of some other parents. I know nothing will change our situation but if I could save another mother from the heartache I went through because of their stupidity I truly would. Bottom line is we have two very healthy boys at home with us and we are oh so thankful!!!!